She Deserves Better

Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up

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You want your daughter to thrive--to be strong, confident, and equipped to step into the life God has for her.

But what if the church is setting your daughter up to be small?

Armed with data from an all-new survey of over 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today. They expose common evangelical teachings that can backfire--the purity emphasis that can cause shame rather than good choices, the dating rules that can prime your daughter for abuse, and the one overarching belief that can keep her from setting healthy boundaries.

Instead, the authors advocate biblically grounded, freeing messages that are more about the dos and less about the don'ts. By reframing (and sometimes replacing) common evangelical messages to teen girls, this book will equip you to raise a daughter who can navigate the tumultuous teenage years while still clinging tightly to Jesus.

You can raise your daughter with the discernment to resist toxic teachings. Because she deserves better than a faith that keeps her small.

"Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world. The title says it all. Full stop. Our daughters deserve better! This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity."--Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation


"Finally, a book I can recommend to parents who want better resources to talk about sexuality with their daughters! Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna are an all-star team, confronting the harm done to our daughters in both the church and the world. The title says it all. Our daughters deserve better! Full stop. This book is full of thorough research, refreshingly commonsense biblical wisdom, and practical help on how to talk with our daughters and prepare them for confidence and maturity."

Aimee Byrd, author of The Sexual Reformation

"Though it's written for moms and daughters, this book will challenge any ministry leader about ways we may have unwittingly dishonored God's desires for women and men. Then it will equip us for a better way."

Jim Jackson, president and cofounder of Connected Families

"Raising both a son and a daughter, I see the profound need for healthy, data-driven, gospel-based resources to educate the new generation to make wise relational decisions untainted by fear or shame. We cannot effectively prepare our children for healthier relationships until we have courageously identified and untangled the false teachings that misled us in the past. She Deserves Better is more than just another book to read; it includes practical, real-life-ready discussion prompts and case-study scenarios created to spark a wide range of age-appropriate discussions between you and your daughter."

Sarah McDugal, author, speaker, abuse-recovery coach, and cofounder of Wilderness to WILD

"As a psychologist, I am confident in this book's sound research, evidenced-based teachings, and emotionally healthy advice. And as a mother of a girl, I am looking forward to reading this with my daughter to create new teachings for her as I reconstruct them myself."

Dr. Camden Morgante, licensed clinical psychologist and coach

"For too long, we have allowed our daughters to bear the burden of bad theology about what it means to be female. Well, no longer! Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna provide a practical, candid, and theologically astute guide for mothers and daughters that exposes harmful teachings circulating in churches today and helps women rediscover their truest selves as ones loved and cherished by God."

Amanda W. Benckhuysen, author of The Gospel According to Eve and director of Safe Church Ministry for Christian Reformed Church

"In this book steeped in research and wisdom, Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna unwind the false, shaming gospel of outward appearance and point our daughters to a true and confident faith--one rooted in a good Father who delights in his beloved and deems her worthy of healthy esteem and relationships. But perhaps one of this book's greatest contributions will be the bold conversations it sparks between parents and daughters. If you have a daughter or are a daughter, your soul needs this book."

Laura Barringer, coauthor of A Church Called Tov

"Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky's invitation to raise girls who resist toxic teachings on sex, self, and speaking up is one that I'm gladly accepting! As a parenting educator and family-life coach, I have a special heart for helping parents who have been told damaging lies by the church about what it takes to be a "godly parent" that have led to disconnection and harm in their homes. Since mentoring our daughters about sex, self-esteem, emotional health, consent, firm boundaries, and bodily self-awareness is a requirement and honor for all parents, thank God for this book that alerts us to the dangers of mainstream Christian teachings and empowers us to be bold in our parenting in a way that honors Christ and our children. I'm extremely grateful for the research and solid advice presented in this book that give myself and the parents I support the courage to do things differently. I will be recommending it to all of my students at Fresh Start Family."

Wendy Snyder, founder of Fresh Start Family and host of The Fresh Start Family Show

The Authors

  1. Sheila Wray Gregoire
    Pics and Tweaks Photography

    Sheila Wray Gregoire

    Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind, a sought-after speaker, and an award-winning author of nine books, including The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate...

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  2. Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach

    Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach

    Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a psychology graduate, Sheila's daughter, and the author of Why I Didn't Rebel. Working alongside her husband, Connor, she develops websites focusing on building Jesus-centered marriages and families. Living the...

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  3. Joanna Sawatsky
    © Rebecca Reeves Photography

    Joanna Sawatsky

    Joanna Sawatsky is an epidemiologist with a research focus on the intersection of religiosity and women's health issues. As Research Coordinator at Bare Marriage she oversees health promotion efforts by managing survey development, data collection, statistical...

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